We are rarely proud when we are alone.”
-Voltaire
My son had selected a sleek and stylish black outfit for his senior prom. He wanted to look sharp. This was, after all, his last high school event before graduation. He had spent the day with his friends, tanning and planning which party they would go to after the prom. When his older sisters had prepared for their proms there was primping and shopping and gaggles of girls all laughing, reminiscing about their high school years. My son was equally excited in his preparation. And there was just as much primping going on. An hour before he was to leave for pictures he came downstairs. His zipper had gotten stuck and he needed help. As I stood there helping him zip up his dress I laughed and said, “Things I never expected to be doing when you were three!” He laughed too, thanked me and went off to set his wig before leaving. My son’s prom outfit was a little black dress, fishnets and stilettos.
Undoubtedly the visual you had when reading the first line of this was that the black outfit was a tux or a man’s suit. My son is gay and identifies as femme. He participates in drag and is a brilliant entertainer. He is funny, witty and serious. His drag persona is equally funny, witty and serious. Before Johnny came out to me I probably thought I was very self-aware and tolerant. But the truth is I wasn’t. I was actually quite uncomfortable with homosexuality. I was not scared of it; it just wasn’t something I truly knew intimately so I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t know what would be offensive or tolerant. I didn’t even recognize how many knee-jerk reactions I had to all things LGBTQ.
Johnny shared his sexuality with me, casually while we were on the couch watching TV. I wasn’t sure if he was joking or serious. In that moment I truly didn’t know how to respond, not because I cared that he was gay but because I ran through a thousand different scenarios in my head of how my wrong response could damage him FOREVER (of course that was ludicrous). If I laughed and he was gay then I would be disrespecting him. If I took him seriously and he was joking would I stigmatize him? In the end my awkward no response was no better than either of those and he pokes fun of me for it still. I share this simply to exemplify the aloneness that can occur simply from people being unaware. This unnecessary isolation is why Pride month is so important, to simply raise awareness to aide true acceptance, tolerance and integration to our shared tribe of humanity.
Thanks to Johnny’s courage in coming out to me, I have learned a lot. Most importantly I have learned of the many worries and anxieties that he went through that he shouldn’t have and which very likely I enabled. But I have also learned to simply ask when I don’t understand something or if I am unsure if something is offensive. He ALWAYS thanks me when I ask him about something. When I don’t ask and make an assumptive mistake, he lets me know that also.
I don’t think I ever thought much about the comments such as “When will there be a straight pride month?” before I joined Johnny on this journey. I might even have laughed if it was said to me. It was a lack of awareness on my part. But Johnny has taught me many things. So now when people say there should be a hetero pride month I will simply ask them to consider “Have you ever felt alone because of your sexuality?” If not then your pride day is everyday.
As Voltaire so succinctly stated, we are rarely proud when we are alone. Johnny is an incredibly intelligent, witty and creative human being. He is an edgy drag queen and the same silly boy he was since birth. I love my son. I love that there is a month dedicated to LGBTQ pride. I love that he has a community of which he is proud to be a part.
SevenSenses 
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